Praise "Trying Again"

Encourage your children when they “try again.”

It takes a lot to try again. It's not easy to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and give it another go. This is a great feat even for most adults.

So when you see your child "trying again", then praise him or her for it. Make "trying again" a part of your child's definition for success by honoring it when you see it.

Define Success As Faithfulness and Perseverance

One of the dangers that parents face, especially fathers, is the tendency to want their children to win, or at least, not to fail. But failing is not a bad thing. Of course, failing without effort or failing and then not trying again is a bad thing. Throughout life your children will fail – how well, or how badly, they deal with it will affect their destinies.

I often tell my son, “Winning is not about “not” losing, it’s about not giving up.”

Choose Your Battles

Discern the difference between your preferences and the really harmful things that need to be addressed.

My brother once told me, "My daughter is in to rap. I can't stand it."
I asked, "Well, is it rap with explicit lyrics?"
"No," came the reply.
"Then, relax. It's just a difference of preference. If it's not harmful, then don't pick a fight unnecessarily."

Fighting over everything can break down trust. Choose your battles.

Learn To Listen and Not Just To Command

I heard someone once say that the only time his mother sat down to talk with him was to tell him what she wanted him to do or to tell him what he shouldn't have done.

Don't let that be said of you.

Take time to just listen. Learn to ask more questions, then shut up and listen. This will build trust between you and your children more than you realize.

Respond Appropriately To Their “Treasures”

When they bring you treasures that they’ve found – old coins, bottle caps, paper clips – respond with equal excitement. They're sharing their hearts with you by entrusting you with their treasures. Your response will determine if they continue, in the future, to trust you with their treasures or not.

As they grow older, their treasures become their relationships, struggles, fears and more. If you’re not trustworthy early on, then they’ll hide those things from you.

Do Not Lie

Do not lie – not to your kids, not to anyone. But especially don't lie to others when your children are watching. You must not teach them to have a double standard. “White” lies are lies. Parents will tell “white” lies in front of their children, and then wonder, when the teenage years come, why their children lie to them.

As the author, Robert Fulghum once said, “Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

Demonstrate That You Can Be Trusted

The ability to trust others affects every person’s destiny. And to know when someone is trustworthy is another indispensable ability.

If someone can’t trust, then every relationship they have will be flawed from the beginning with suspicion and self-fulfilling prophecy and the potential of their relationships breaking increases.

We must not only teach our children to trust, but also demonstrate what trustworthiness means?