Practical Examples Of Good Explaining

Instead of “Don’t be mean to your sister,” try “Be kind with your sister, because she is a valuable person whose heart can be hurt by mean words. Speak to people how you would want them to speak to you.”

Instead of “Don’t run across the veranda at church!” try “Walk on the veranda because there are people there in wheel chairs, people who are elderly, moms with babies and people walking with tea and coffee. We must be aware of others so we don’t cause any accidents.”

Don't Just Say "Because I Said So"

Tell them the reason why you are asking them not to do something. A simple, “Do this because I say so,” can often make them feel restrained and frustrated because they don’t understand the reason behind the request. They need to know the moral reason why in their hearts so they are equipped to make that good decision again.

As the writer, Roger Lewin once said, “Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.”

My son Jonas can respond to others harshly sometimes. I don’t just want to tell him to stop speaking harshly. I want to teach him about people being precious and how our words need to build people up and not tear them down.

Explain the Reasons Why They Should Do What You Say

As we train our children in what to do and what not to do we need to explain the reason behind it. We want to equip our children to make good decisions for themselves. Our goal should be to teach them to make the right decision even when we’re not there to tell them what the right decision is. We want good inner character not just controlled outward behaviour.