Encourage and praise good behavior. As parents we’re quick to see the negatives in our children. Work on noticing the positives. If I see one of my children help one of the younger ones, or talking nicely or even just sharing a toy willingly, I pull them aside and praise them and thank them for how kindly they’ve acted.
Our number three, can sometimes be a challenge. I think it is the ‘middle child syndrome’. I have to make sure I make an effort to encourage her because I feel like I am often correcting her. You may need to make an intentional effort to look for opportunities to praise the good behavior of a child who is particularly difficult.
My mother-in-law also has a story she tells about Drew. He used to use negative behaviour to secure his mother’s attention. But she started focusing on his good behaviour and Drew learned that good behaviour gets more attention. When he would throw a tantrum on the floor, she would simply walk away and ignore him. Eventually he'd realize that it wasn't working. But when he did something positive she would go overboard with praises. He soon figured out that good behavior is much more rewarding.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Reward Positive Behavior
It’s often easy to focus on punishing bad behavior but a great way to motivate our children is to reward good behavior.
Idea #1: Set up an awards system in your house.
We do this for chores. Our children all have chores to do in the morning before we begin our day. If they do their chores without me telling them to or nagging them about it, then they get a ticket that is kept in a jar with their name on it. Another way they can earn a ticket is if I see them do something really helpful around the house without me asking them to do it. At the end of the week we have a buying day. I have a small container with little toys and treasures in it that they get to purchase with their tickets.
Our children also take piano lessons. If they practice four days in a row then they get a chocolate bar. We have a chart and stickers to monitor this.
You may want think of other creative ways in which you can reward positive behavior.
Idea #1: Set up an awards system in your house.
We do this for chores. Our children all have chores to do in the morning before we begin our day. If they do their chores without me telling them to or nagging them about it, then they get a ticket that is kept in a jar with their name on it. Another way they can earn a ticket is if I see them do something really helpful around the house without me asking them to do it. At the end of the week we have a buying day. I have a small container with little toys and treasures in it that they get to purchase with their tickets.
Our children also take piano lessons. If they practice four days in a row then they get a chocolate bar. We have a chart and stickers to monitor this.
You may want think of other creative ways in which you can reward positive behavior.
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